Monday, October 31, 2011

World Series and Diet Plans

I watched the World Series. Some of you might be saying, “Okay, cool. No biggie.” Those who actually know me will be saying, “YOU watched the WORLD SERIES??” Yes, it’s true I grew up in a male dominated household and naturally this should have led to a love for sports. NOT! Instead the opposite happened.  So, I confess this World Series was the first sports game I have EVER willingly watched (from beginning to end). Please, take a moment of silence for this small milestone in my life.
A newspaper once hired me to cover college sports for a summer. Naturally this feeling of drudgery washed over me causing to crash my car (not really, but life is sort of weird sometimes), which indirectly got me out of the assignment.

It’s not that I don’t love sports. I love PLAYING sports, but WATCHING is another cup of tea I’ve never sipped. I now understand Cards fans when they make sports references like: watch out for that ‘FREEZER burn’ or beware of the ‘Deep Freeze.’  Although I’m not totally fluent with these references, it is a start. Not only did I watch the game but also did the whole trip-to-the-sports-store-after-the-game to get an important Tee shirt I never knew existed.  It was explained to me by a certain Cyborg that its like Twilight for sports fans. Well, well consider me enlightened. Who knows this may be only the beginning for me. Next stop… Super bowl?

This brings me to my next topic: difference between the sexes. Aside from the obvious, ever notice how when guys need to get trim and fit they basically fatten up as a precursor to build muscle? For women you have the option of exercise, calorie counting, more calorie counting, heavy disciplinary dieting, and the frequent trips to the scale. Now because of the constant flaunting of women with perfect bodies that pop up everywhere we look…We as women are never happy with our bodies. No matter how insane our diet, how frequent our exercise, we will never be able to achieve what our DNA can’t provide.  The only way we will be able to get those flat bellies and firm tooshies is (lets face it) plastic surgery. Can I just call a time-out for all women reading this? Let us PLEASE stop the madness!  All those stupid diet-plan ads and cosmetic magazines have brain washed us into thinking we must all look like Victoria Secret models. Yes, it would be nice, but in reality only 5% of women have that “ideal” body type, in the WHOLE world! That leaves 95% of us feeling like crap about ourselves, and slaving over some stupid exercise video that claims we can look just like those beautiful women on TV. We need to stop the madness and search inside ourselves for what makes us truly beautiful. Plastic surgery is not the option. Cutting away the parts we don’t like will not make us happier. Plastic surgery is … well, surgery. It’s painful, and it’s not pretty.  If you have the option to not partake of that forbidden fruit, I suggest you do so.  If this has peaked your interest at all I suggest you look up a video Killing Us Softly by Jean Kilbourne. She’s the lady with the facts, who also wishes us to stop the madness.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Sick, Play writes and Movies

Ever had to call in sick to work? I have. Every time I call in I feel the need to sound worse than I actually feel.  Just at the sheer chance that my boss wont believe me. I have no reason to feel this way. She’s never said HA! I think you’re faking! Come back into work! No, no that would be just evil. And yet it crosses my mind. 
The fiendish day when I go back into work after being sick, I have to respond to 15 different questions on if I’m feeling better. Not that my co-workers actually care. But because they are envious of the time I got away; like a fugitive that escaped prison. They are one in the same in my world.

Yesterday I watched this movie Loss of a Teardrop Diamond, when it was over I had to watch the Special Features hoping it would explain the movie. Cuz I didn’t get it. Right when Bryce Dallas Howard gets her man, it ends. I was disappointed. If I just scored Chris Evans as my boyfriend I’d want my ending to be longer, or better yet… a sequel!  Or maybe just a montage of us making-out. That would be totally fine with me. I’d even do that for free. Some actors are just lucky that way. Earning a fortune AND making out with Chris Evans?  That’s just too much to handle.

This movie was written by Tennessee Williams. He was some fancy shmansy writer back in the day who could poop out award winning scripts and live off the money he made from it for the rest of his life.  (Lucky!) I remember reading some of his works back in college and the same thought occurs to me today. I don’t get it. Why is this good? Most his stories are things that might be shared in a psychologists office, not sold for public consumption. In the Glass Menagerie, what happens? The girl with gimp legs FINALLY gets her first kiss, and the guy says WHOOPS! I have a fiancĂ©, SORRY!  And runs off.  Personally that’s the kind of embarrassing stories I find myself erasing from my journal late at night (not really). But seriously, I don’t like remembering stupid things that happen, let alone read about it.

And in the Teardrop Diamond film, Chris Evans admits to the entire party of mean spirited Southern folk that Bryce Dallas Howards character bought him those fancy clothes (he was a simple farm boy) and paid him to go with her (way to go Chris!).  Poor little Bryce didn’t have a chance at popularity. No one liked her anyway because her daddy put a lot of people out of work. She had no friends already and then Chris had to go make things worse. Things just kept going down hill from there. She got made fun of a lot and she ended up getting high off opium to deal with her embarrassment.  One thing I would sincerely like to know, is why does Tennessee Williams consider this his greatest work? Is it cuz she’s so trapped? I’d like to understand what it is about this writer that makes people say “Man, that’s really good!” What is it, specifically? Maybe it was just a different time. I have no clue. Someone, please, enlighten me.

Now that was a classic movie. Footloose, makes me want to get up and dance. In the original I could out-dance any of those queer folk on screen. In the new version, the pressure is on! They did a good job modernizing it, but it felt like a rip off from the old version. Sure the storyline was more clear, but they used all the same songs at the same parts and used a ton of the original dialogue, as well as prom costumes at the end. What, was that about? They couldn’t update those prom outfits a bit? Those kids looked weird wearing Kevin Bacon’s clothes. Its sad to say that most kids that watched it today didn’t even know there was an original. With that I wipe a tear from my eye. 

Captain America

You like little guys with big hearts? Captain America’s you’re man. This movie was so fantastic it doesn’t need to be talked up. I was rooting for the little guy the whole time! (even when he became a bigger guy) Add the brave little guys sense of humor to the big beefy Chris Evans body and POOF!  There was born every girls dream (sigh). Who was the unexpected comedic genius? Tommy Lee Jones! Every word out of that guys mouth had me LOLing hard.  Tommy can do comedy in his sleep, without even trying.
I can’t wait for the Avenger’s when we get to see every superhero in the Marvel industry come into action. Looking forward to seeing how that all-star cast mixes together. Especially the Iron Man’s acerbic wit mixed with Thor’s godly pride.

That’s all for now. Stay tuned for more reviews slash random thoughts by Vanessa!