Pregnancy = Disability?

Pregnancy is like being temporarily disabled with varying symptoms. I can't lift anything without harming myself or the baby. I can't walk too far without my feet outgrowing my shoes. I can't get up to fast, or shift too quickly for several reasons. I feel like a koala bear, which, if you didn't know, move very slowly. I also have grown to hate speed bumps, and I think there should be a sort of gently lifting bra for my enormous belly.
     I also have to drink my weight in water (practically), then I have to run to the bathroom to relieve said water. I can't stand for long periods of time. I can't eat too much, can't get too hot, can't run at all (and I miss running!) According to the doctors this is all normal. So whoopi-freakin-doo to that. I once read a list of things that would change if men were the ones to get pregnant. Some of the many improvements would be that morning sickness would become obsolete, there would be a cure for stretch marks, and maternity leave would last from 6 months of the pregnancy till your child was 3 years old. I'm all for these glorious improvements.
     It would make my life easier if by just becoming pregnant, I would automatically be eligible for disability. That way I wouldn't have to worry about showing up to work everyday, so we can afford rent and groceries. I consider myself a pretty conservative person, and I don't think that this is a totally ridiculous request. Especially for ladies like me, who don't handle pregnancy very well. They say that you forget all about the pains and aches of pregnancy when its over, well that's fantastic for the future, but for now, I still remember very clearly.
     On an up note, I love my little kicking critter growing inside me. No I don't call her my little nudger, she's doesn't nudge, she makes her presence known, and I love her for that. I can't wait till I get to lose sleep taking care of her. I can't wait to see her adorable little face and kiss her little kicking feet. I'm ready for these next three months to fly by so I can hold my little critter gently in my arms and soften her tiny yet loud and vocal cries. Until then, I suppose all I can do is endure and wait.

My eggo is preggo!!!

I know this is a weird way to announce to the general public, but its true! I'm pregnant. I began this blog shortly after I discovered that my eggo was prego. That being said, this blog is a shout out for all those ladies out there who have either given birth or are currently pregnant. You woman are goddesses!!! Man, oh, man it is impossible to truly prepare for pregnancy. The amount of changes my body has gone through already, is outrageous. The first 5 weeks were a breeze, the only thing I dealt with was feeling tired. Then came week 6 and 7, then came the morning sickness, or in my case the constant dry heaving and nausea. And the dog-like ability to smell doesn't help with my weak stomach.  The sight or smell of creamy or greasy foods sends me running towards the bathroom. Which when you live in America, is everywhere! I had no appetite to eat, and what I could eat, wasn't very much, I often thought of how would I survive the next 9 months without checking into a hospital.  I know the baby would be fine and take what it needed, but how would I keep from being malnourished and stay hydrated? It was rough going there for awhile and very difficult to go to work every day when all I could eat was crackers. And trying to eat during my lunch breaks was another challenge. I'd eat a half a cup of food and start dry heaving again. It seemed my reaction to everything was dry heaving. I got hot, I dry heaved. I got stressed I'd dry heave. I had to learn how to adjust my diet to avoid the milky, creamy and greasy. I pretty much felt like I had an eating disorder. I'd shop like I had Celiac, and I felt super weak all the time.  I had seriously considered quitting my job, and I had a desk job. A desk job! How do single mothers do it? How are you supposed to support yourself if you feel uncomfortable, weak and absolutely ill all the time? I rested as much as I could, but it wasn't enough, I was stressed all the time due to the fact that I couldn't eat anything! When week 9 and 10 came around, I could eat again!! YAY! It was a miracle!! I was starving and had lost 5 pounds, which the doctor said was normal. Uh thanks, doc. I still couldn't eat greasy or acidic things ...like tomatoes or lemonade... yeah not joking here. And eating out became an undesirable thing. I wouldn't know if I could eat what I ordered, until I took my first bite. “Uh, waiter? Can I have a sample of everything before I order here? Thanks!” We can call it the prego sample platter. I think it’s my best idea yet! My husband does the best he can to comfort me, and sometimes I have to laugh when he puts on “What to Expect When Your Expecting” to help sympathize with me. He cue's it up to the part where Emily Banks character is ranting in front of a baby convention that “Being pregnant sucks. I have no control over my emotions or my body!!” It’s true. I've lost count on how many commercials I've teared up over, and don't even get me started on all the movies I've cried over, movies I've never cried over before the hormones kicked in... When week 11 came things got weird. I developed an aversion to toothpaste. And I'm a frequent brusher! I now have to brush carefully or chew gum. Gag reflexes are the worst! But alas I've just moved into my 2^nd trimester, and from what I hear it’s the best one... you know, besides the pure joy I'll get when it’s all over and I get to hold my little bundle of joy in my arms. And, I think once it’s over I will eat nothing but sushi and seafood, on top of a whole large pizza. I've made the decision to intentionally get fat after all this because I've been so deprived of food! Oh well, that’s life I suppose. Until my next blog!

Toddler Dangers & Swayze

While playing with my adorable nephew of one years old. I couldn't help notice how fearless he was. As soon as there was something potentially dangerous like a hot light bulb or a flight of stairs, he sprinted right for it (as sprinty as his little legs could carry him). I heard a comedian once say that his job as a parent was to keep his kid from dying. Man was he right! It didn't matter where we were, if there was any possible danger to my little nephew, he, like a heat-seeking missle, headed right toward danger. Even places I never thought dangerous. For a examples see chart below:

Grandma's house => Lengthy flight of stairs
Back yard => 3ft drop for RV parking
Living Room => Electrical sockets & pointy cornered coffee tables
Dining Room => Hot pellet stove
Kitchen => Garbage cans with garbage dangerous to toddlers who stick every thing in their mouth

Scientifically we learn that children learn by deduction. But as I started thinking, we all still learn by deduction. The first time we give our heart away so freely and willingly, we have no fear. The second time we're a little hesitant. The third time, a little more hesitant. The first time we fire a gun, we have no previous experience and learn quickly when we place a finger too close to the slider it hurts real bad. All this being said, I came to this hypothesis: We are fearless until we get hurt. Then we reevaluate and learn.

The first time we explore something new, we have no fear until something happens then we know to be careful next time. This law of deduction isn't simply for toddlers, but for adults as well. We learn, we always learn. (I guess if we don't learn right away we will eventually, hopefully).

Something else on my mind has nothing to do with toddlers, but Patrick Swayze. I had a Swayze marathon not too long ago and noticed a pattern in just about all his movies. No matter what kind of movie it is, his character is the best at what he does. See chart below:

Road House - Best Fighter
Point Break - Best Surfer
Dirty Dancying - Best Heart (women would argue many other things he's great at :)
Black Dog - Best Truck Driver
Ghost - Best Boyfriend Ever!

Its no wonder we loved Swayze. He won our hearts in Ghost, kicked bootie in Road House, was a total freak in Point Break & he could sure shake those slender hips in Dirty Dancing. I can't think of another actor out there who has so cleverly planned all their roles in such a way. Tha'ts why there is no one like Swayze.

The end for now

M. Night Shyamalan vs Hollywood

Reviewing M. Night Shyamalan’s past projects it seems he peaked at ‘Sixth Sense’ and hasn’t had a film that good since ‘Signs’. Okay c’mon, the poor guy, SOMEONE has to defend his work! Despite the evidence that each film has lost more money than the one before. I believe it’s our doing of putting M. Night in a corner. And like Patrick Swayze said “NOBODY puts Night in the corner!”. Okay so, I took some liberties, and no Swayze didn’t say that exactly.

M. Night is a story teller. And the film-world keeps trying to put a label on his films as Horror or Drama. But his stories are so much more than that.  A majority of people I've talked to that hate  'The Village' said it was because they weren't scared. Thats because it was advertised as a horror film BUT it wasn't supposed to be scary! At least not enough to be classified as a horror film! It was about how far people would go to preserve innocence.  The same goes for 'Lady in the Water', critics said it was too scary for children, but not scary enough for adults.  Again, this wasn't a horror film! This was a modern day fairy tale about magical creatures influencing turning points in human history and the people it changed.  I LOVE LOVE LOVE this film! It makes me cry every time I watch it! I want to scream at those critics that they don't know what they're talking about, but then again, their just doing their job: being critics.

‘The Happening’ was brilliantly filmed BUT the story was TOO heavy for an audience to enjoy. Watching person after person kill themselves is not entertainment. The subject was too disturbing and maybe it would have been more widely accepted, had there been more comic relief. Like ‘Zombieland’ it doesn’t matter how bad things got, it was still funny. ‘The Happening’ was different, but not a good different. Not even I care to watch it again.

‘The Last Airbender’ was the first film I had seen of M. Night’s that 1)wasn’t an original story and 2)had the most terrible acting I have ever seen conglomerated into the same movie. Actor’s rule #1: even if the writing is bad, a good actor can counter it and make it good. Unfortunately for Night, the only good actor in that film was the Slumdog Millionaire, and he wasn’t even in the film that much. In Night’s defense 1) it is difficult to find actors who can act on top of have an obvious talent for the martial arts (and let’s face it, the little boy who played the Avatar, had an obvious talent for the martial arts, but not for dialogue) and 2) Night was focused on his other original project Devil which, although disturbing; it had the usual M. Night signature, fans like me, look for. Which is amazing since he only wrote the film but didn’t direct it.

Hollywood classifies great movies by 1) how many A-list actors it can get 2) how much money it makes 3)having controversial topic. By these three things alone, not even I care for those great movies. Sure an occasional film will come along that will blow my mind, but usually not from a film that appeals to these three categories. I’m a huge fan of Lee Pace, most people know him as the pie maker from Pushing Daisies. He’s a great actor but hasn’t been classified as an A-lister yet.  I love his films and the same goes for David Tennant, but has everyone heard of these guys? Not so much. The films they're in are still fantastic in my book. And guys like Joss Whedon who can pull off incredible films like The Avenger’s and who constantly come up with new TV shows that CONSTANTLY blow my mind. Joss is underrated, and should be deemed a GENIUS when it comes to telling stories. Most of the time, while watching his work, I want to shout “Joss! You did it to me AGAIN!” He’s a freak’n GENIUS! I could go on rambling this sentence on and on in different ways but I will plug back into my original topic of Shyamalan.

Reviewing the release dates for each of M. Night’s films, there’s about a 2 year gap between each release, and Night himself has said his projects take him two years to do. Not a bad turnaround, this means HE NEVER RESTS!


2010 The Last Airbender
2008 The Happening
2006 Lady in the Water
2004 The Village
2002 Signs
2000 Unbreakable
1999 The Sixth Sense

I give props to this guy for keeping the films coming. I’m never let down by his films and you shouldn’t be either. I look forward to each film because Night’s a rule breaker, he wants to surprise me. He wants to tell stories and by-golly their ORIGINAL! When you take a screenwriting class they will tell you that there are only seven stories in the world, it just depends on how their told that makes them different. I see film after film regurgitated out of Hollywood with the different A-listers and flashy special effects, but I can’t help but feel disappointed when the story is the thing that’s lagging. I understand that filmmaking is a business and a business has strategy, but I think America and the rest of the world gets bored with the same old thing being produced so fast the story suffers. And I know Hollywood knows this, that’s why they’ve been investing in Independent Production Companies. Notice how Independent films are now making it to the Oscars, and new categories are being created specifically for these films! Independent films are the only original stories we get in bundles. Kudos to those story tellers!

In short original stories don’t always sell, but it’s not always the sale that makes the story great. I’m confident that M. Night will soon knock my socks off again. And I look forward to his new film After Earth  coming out in 2013. I’m still cheering you on Night! Bravo!

Three days before the Wedding!

Yes, I’m getting married at the end of the week. After twenty-nine years of single-hood and of getting used to being alone; I now feel as if I’ve been with an angel who has swept into my life to bring me joy and a sense of completion. I didn’t think being this happy was possible, with any man: real or imaginary. After twenty-nine years being pretty darn good at making decisions on my own, I find it puzzling and a little funny that I no longer possess this ‘said ability’, without first discussing it with Spencer.  Simple decisions like: what will I wear tomorrow… or am I really sick enough to stay home from work… or my personal favorite, where will we eat for date night? J

A million tiny little things like this reminds me of the new state of me. There’s this new person who now looks back at me in the mirror with a smile on her face and a new sense of purpose. I love this new person! She warms my heart, and I love my Spencer who has helped bring out this new me. I never thought I would meet such a wonderful man with such a good heart. I’m so excited to be his forever.

Driving In Bliss

When you fall in love and are holding this, said love, by the hand. Everything slows and becomes more enjoyable and vibrant. Unfortunately the slowing part mostly happens to me while driving in this state of bliss, which apparently aggravates the other drivers on the road. They honk and speed past me, usually waving their arms around in anger or cursing some non-sweet-nothings in my general direction. Now if you take a moment to ask: how could my blissful driving cause such a tempestuous response? What if I like driving in my state of bliss? I for one have stopped to smell the roses, and I really think the rest of the road warriors should as well. I understand that people who drive slow are annoying, but where are they going that they have to get there in such a hurry?

It made me wonder if our world is swiftly declining on our manners and patience in general. Let us stop to ask ourselves: what’s the rush? In this day and age with our 4G data plans and instant messaging; everything is literally at our fingertips instantly. We can do so much with a mere cell phone that was not available to us 20 years ago. With all this technology oozing out our ears, we’ve grown accustom to getting what we want without much of a wait. Has this seeped into other area’s in our lives, where we demand instant things without having to wait? Has it made our  generation grown impatient?

When we’re driving to our destination in a mad rush, are we doing it out of habit? Or do we really need to get to our destinations at lightning speed? Lets not toss all rules of common courtesy out the window, just yet. The world is not without hope; we just need some minor adjustments. By small things are great things brought about. So, let me extend an invitation out to all those eligible motorists.  Before you activate your led-foot, ask yourself: “do I really need to speed past every one in my way. Am I in such a rush to get to my destination that I am not willing to let other drivers cut in front of me? Or will I cut off other drivers so I can get there faster? Will I honk and speed past those motorists who are driving in bliss, or will I let them alone in their happy little bubble?  Ask yourself again and again: Where am I going in such a hurry that its absolutely necessary to cut off my fellow drivers and not yield to traffic signals?

For those of us that maybe be enjoying the drive with our loved ones, I for one would enjoy not getting interrupted by horn honking and rude gestures. So, please don’t ruin it for others driving in bliss. There may only be a small percentage of us who decide to stop and smell the roses, don’t cause us to go extinct. Please.

The practice of patience can be a powerful tool to make this world a more pleasant place.  So let us start by leaving a little earlier and driving a little slower. It saves on gas and Lord only knows when those prices will drop again… if they ever drop again.

Its just something to consider.

Everybody Needs a Spencer

There comes a time in a womans’ life when its necessary to count how many blessings she has.  I realize that the trials in ones life get so great, that it becomes necessary to take a step back and ask “What do I have to be grateful for?” One of my great blessings has to do with a certain boy I’ve fallen for. (Yes, this may get very cheesy, folks. Be prepared to take some Pepto-Bismol before reading any further) J

Famous books like “The Secret” reference the power of thought and positive thinking. On the other end of the spectrum, doctors say that stress and negative thinking cause disease and lead to a shorter, unhappy life.  Since happy people live longer, and I want to live a long happy life with my beau. I’m going to look on and smile at all the wonderful things that will happen because Spencer is in my life.

It seems insane that I, with all my randomness, and wacky demeanor; Have found such a sweet, kind, and generous man who makes me feel like the most important person in the world.  How lucky am I, to have someone who completes me in every way? The more time we get to be together, the more I wonder… How did I ever survive without him? I’ve always considered myself to be a strong and independent person, so how is it I’ve come to a point where I wonder: How have I gotten this far without him? To have this man who loves me, no matter how dumb my jokes, how great my fears, or how unreasonable my emotions … He is now here by my side and can’t think of anything he would rather do.

I realize this seems all one-sided, and I don’t want to cheat my readers of a good vomiting. J So this is me publicly declaring my love for the most wonderful, kind, manly man I have ever met. Spencer you are my rock, you are my life. Our love is pure and divine. And I can’t think of anything better than to spend eternity with my best friend.

That’s all (for now J)