Friday, May 10, 2013

Pregnancy = Disability?

Pregnancy is like being temporarily disabled with varying symptoms. I can't lift anything without harming myself or the baby. I can't walk too far without my feet outgrowing my shoes. I can't get up to fast, or shift too quickly for several reasons. I feel like a koala bear, which, if you didn't know, move very slowly. I also have grown to hate speed bumps, and I think there should be a sort of gently lifting bra for my enormous belly.
     I also have to drink my weight in water (practically), then I have to run to the bathroom to relieve said water. I can't stand for long periods of time. I can't eat too much, can't get too hot, can't run at all (and I miss running!) According to the doctors this is all normal. So whoopi-freakin-doo to that. I once read a list of things that would change if men were the ones to get pregnant. Some of the many improvements would be that morning sickness would become obsolete, there would be a cure for stretch marks, and maternity leave would last from 6 months of the pregnancy till your child was 3 years old. I'm all for these glorious improvements.
     It would make my life easier if by just becoming pregnant, I would automatically be eligible for disability. That way I wouldn't have to worry about showing up to work everyday, so we can afford rent and groceries. I consider myself a pretty conservative person, and I don't think that this is a totally ridiculous request. Especially for ladies like me, who don't handle pregnancy very well. They say that you forget all about the pains and aches of pregnancy when its over, well that's fantastic for the future, but for now, I still remember very clearly.
     On an up note, I love my little kicking critter growing inside me. No I don't call her my little nudger, she's doesn't nudge, she makes her presence known, and I love her for that. I can't wait till I get to lose sleep taking care of her. I can't wait to see her adorable little face and kiss her little kicking feet. I'm ready for these next three months to fly by so I can hold my little critter gently in my arms and soften her tiny yet loud and vocal cries. Until then, I suppose all I can do is endure and wait.